Ride of a Life Time
The sun beats down upon my neck. I gulp down my last sip of water like i had found an oasis in the middle of the sahara desert. Shuffle, Shuffle, Shuffle. The line inches forward like a centipede. I should remember next time not to go to the newest roller coaster in the theme park right during middle of the day. Clink. The gates open as the last riders get off looking almost green. As they hobble off I sit myself down into the sweat drenched seat. My clammy hand reach for the shoulder bars and bring them down towards me. Peeew! The scent of body odor drifts towards me. Before i realize what is happening im being sucked back against my seat so violently i can barely breath. As im being jerked back and forth all i see is a blur of colors. Purple, green, and yellow flash before my eyes. We begin to slow down as we head uphill. Ch,Ch,Ch,Ch. We stop at the top, but only for a moment. I can see all the sky streching out for miles and miles ahead of me. My stomach drops, and my body seems to follow. My stomach flips, churns, and turns. After numorous Nerve racking turns and flips the cart suddenly screeches to a halt. Is it over? It happened so fast. I hop off and springt over to the nearest spinning wall to catch my breath. I made it out alive.
posted by Michaela @ 8:17 AM
3 Comments
3 Comments:
Hey Michaela
Omg!! I love the verbs you used and the ending was great. You made a mistake though on the last sentence bu that's o.k., we all make mistakes.
Nikaya
Michaela, your writing about riding in roller coaster, made me think about the first time when I rode roller coaster. The place where you made me think of my first ride, was the place where you showed the five scenes, when you had this experience. “Last riders get off looking almost green.” “I sit myself down into the sweat drenched seat.” These expressions are awesome. It shows how you felt when you had this experience. (Not telling) Because I know that if you saw last rider’s green face, you might be little scared to ride the coaster. And when I had my first ride, before riding, I also saw something that made me scare. It was last rider throwing up. That scared me a lot…..
Well, all and all your writing was interesting. It was nice descriptive writing piece!!
Good Job!!
Yusuke
Michaela, your writing about riding in roller coaster, made me think about the first time when I rode roller coaster. The place where you made me think of my first ride, was the place where you showed the five scenes, when you had this experience. “Last riders get off looking almost green.” “I sit myself down into the sweat drenched seat.” These expressions are awesome. It shows how you felt when you had this experience. (Not telling) Because I know that if you saw last rider’s green face, you might be little scared to ride the coaster. And when I had my first ride, before riding, I also saw something that made me scare. It was last rider throwing up. That scared me a lot…..
Well, all and all your writing was interesting. It was nice descriptive writing piece!!
Good Job!!
Yusuke
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